COST SAVINGS

Smoke bellows from a U-shaped stack affixed to Celebrity X.  It is using more fuel now to navigate into the harbor.  Fortunately, unlike its predecessor ships, these modern vessels have been meticulously designed to distribute pollution into currents of sea breeze without offensive particulates and gas odors wafting into the passenger area.  No doubt, these are more than boats.  Grand and valiant, these ships stand taller than most buildings in St. Thomas, boasting more luxury per square inch than some islanders could ever imagine.  From my vantage point, as the driver of a car going down a steep declining hill nearly a mile away, the sheer affluence and splendor of these graceful giants never cease to impress me to some degree.   I often see giant water slides, several pools, multiple sky-decks, and thousands of small windows dotting the sides.  In other words, these ships are a floating America (or, alternative, a floating Canada, Europe, or other wealthy nation) – supersized, all-you-care-to-have, and even those things you didn’t know you needed to have. 

Based on my research, cruises can range from around $700 to over $10,000 (for the super penthouse, jacuzzi suite).  The pricing isn’t particularly shocking.  However, for this price, a ship cruises to a port and spends about 8 hours there.  This island’s main unique assets are its nature/beaches and a few old Danish forts.  So, considering the limited time and the fact that there are many beautiful beaches, there is one particular cruise ship passenger phenomenon that I cannot explain.  This phenomenon is the mass flocking of passengers to liquor and perfume duty-free shops.  I concede that St. Thomas has a certain amount of discount on those items – maybe 15-30%.  But,  on a $50 bottle of perfume that comes to around $7-15.  Yet, $15 of savings seems to bring immeasurable satisfaction, prompting an expedition to find the lowest prices for liquor and perfume that can be found. 

I can just imagine one of these tourists on their boat ride away from the islands, bragging that they found so many bargains that they bought 6 bottles of liquor and 3 bottles of perfume.  The paradox that may not have entered their mind is that their Caribbean trip can be equated to paying thousands of dollars to go to a discount liquor store.  Not only is it insane that one would spend their limited island time comparing prices inside a liquor/perfume discount store, it is more insane that these people stock up in excesses.  So, you’ve saved money by buying 4 times the alcohol and perfume you would normally buy and use – and this is logical?  The only sensible part of this occurrence is that the people are buying more perfume to go with their excess purchase of alcohol.  Hence, they can cover up their bad drunken body odors with some more pleasant fragrance. 

Perhaps the explanation for cruise-passenger shopping binges relates to the fact that their whole vacation is oriented around a giant floating mall.  After all, the boat is designed to induce overeating, over drinking, shopping, and laying around basking in service-laden environment.  Even before stepping aboard, the American mind is already weaned to fit into the shopping mold – daily advertisements appear in every medium  from TV, movies, cereal boxes, billboards, to even splash guards on urinals.  Not to mention that our wallets are glistening with platinum colored plastic limited time promises of interest free opportunities to buy a little extra.  So, when I see the masses (and, in many cases, I mean masses literally) disembarking these marvelous luxury cruise liners, I suppose it should not be surprising that people flock to the nearest shopping opportunity even if it is only discount liquor, perfume, and ugly, mostly out-of-style jewelry.