BEING POLITE.....

            There are few places in the world where forgetting to say “good morning” can be a devastating error.  But, in the Virgin Islands, saying “good _______(insert morning, afternoon, evening, or night)” is a necessity for ensuring that the subsequent conversation will even be acknowledged.  For most mainland US people who move down to the islands, the hardest part is quickly recalling which part of the day it is and correlating it to the proper phrase.  Amy and I have both endured the strange looks from local islanders who have heard us say “good afternoon” after 5 pm.  Technically speaking, it is still “after” noon.  But, in the islander’s mind, we have usurped the proper standard of “good evening.”  Past 7 pm or so, it becomes “night” rather than “evening.”  Most people don’t mind calling a night an evening or vice versa.  But, every now and then, I’ll hear a corrective response to my “good evening” with a “good night.”  One thing to keep in mind is that “good night” is not solely used as a “good bye” or conclusion to a conversation.  Indeed, “good night” is quite often the introduction.  For example, “good night, how you doing?”  After a long day of keeping apace with the formal introductions, I sometimes find myself in weak form by the time “good night” rolls around.  So, I tend to use a more general greeting of “good day.” 

In the Virgin Islands, I’ve found that “good day” often works as the platinum card of greetings and it is often accepted by the most cranky and irritable people who are looking for an excuse to be irritable and cranky.  Yet, even still, sometimes “good day” won’t cut muster when you are in a lengthy checkout line or in the hellacious queue at the post office (where one person is ringing up the entire line of people while his/her co-workers chat about what so-and-so’s three girlfriends and illegitimate kids are doing).  In those situations, you’ll know that the polite greeting has failed when the other person simply stares blankly in response or grunts back.  Remedying those situations and receiving a polite response may be the most gargantuan task imaginable because these folks have decided to test your will.  Most likely, in the face of rudeness, you will feel the impulse to ask them to explain what their problem is, why can’t they just smile and be friendly, and why do they have to look so irritated that you have to talk to them.   But, in all reality, if you fight their negative with the same approach, it would be like pouring gasoline on a small fire.  I know – I’ve tried it on a smaller level at K-Mart when I had been tested to the limits by rudeness.  So, in most cases I try restrain my emotion and use my intellect.  I’ll try to smile at them and wish them a pleasant day.  Sometimes, after repeated dealings with the negative individual, the attitude will improve markedly. 

As quirky as it may seem to be forced to say “good morning/afternoon/evening/night” it is probably a suitable habit to adapt.  For one thing, it forces you to think about the person with whom you are speaking, In addition, it shows that you have respect for them and view them as important to warrant the extra effort.  Thus, as we mainland Americans out-pace ourselves and scarcely ever find a moment to greet one another, it would be nice to take a lesson from the islands and just pause to show a bit of politeness to others.